Trigger warning: despite the positive touch, this post contains elements of commonplace discrimination of the „disabled community“, reflections about the pandemic linked to COVID 19 and fears that might appear in that context. Readers who have experienced anxiety, depression or any other bad feelings because of these topics might feel free to read the entire text (and please don’t hesitate to reach out in case you need some support =) ) or to skip this post.
A few days ago, I have seen/heard on TV and on social media that in Germany, high judges have come to the conclusion that the pandemic situation linked to COVID 19 does require specific action of law makers to ensure the protection of disabled people in case of a „triage“ situation in hospitals.
That has been BIG news to me! (If you continue reading, you’ll learn that this statement is not even sarcastic …)
During my journey of life so far, I’ve had some experiences which I would consider as commonplace discrimination linked to my „limited edition puzzle“ (aka my disability). Since the outbreak of the pandemic, I had a lot of time to wonder about things like „If a triage situation can’t be avoided, what happens to people with disabilities (just like me) ending up in intensive care – be it for COVID or for another reason – will the medical team „care enough“ to try and help? Or will that community be deprived from life saving measures due to considerations like „ah well, their life span is shorter anyway!“
Some of (the „softer“) examples of such experiences go like:an adult co-student in university telling me that my grades have nothing to do with any of my own efforts but only with me being disabled (coming from someone who had relied on my notes for their exams for like two years by then, this was a real „eyes opener“ that I don’t need that kind of friends – thanks for that!)
random strangers yelling at me that I should not even be allowed to be out in public as I’m „too ugly to look at“. (I respect their freedom of opinion, but I must say that I know not everyone would agree on that and I was just casually eating a sandwich on the bus station during my waiting time…sorry not sorry!)
me going to the emergency department of a public hospital [after friends seeing my „pain face“ didn’t give me much choice…], then being told that I have to wait at a specific spot outside the waiting room in order that „people can pass“, being left on my own for some hours (without care or meds or anything) to then being told „we forgot you as you weren’t inside“ (no joke?!) … but not being in the physical nor mental state to even argue (since that moment, I am forever thankful for doctors and other medical professionals having space in their waiting area so that wheelchair drivers might feel welcome and seen too – just saying ;))
another episode in emergency department in a public hospital where the doctor had found out that something in the painful area was quite not as it should but sent me home without further exams, advices or medication as „I wouldn’t run far anyway“. (It took me over a week, more pain, another visit at the hospital, another doctor who cared enough to look after it and some helpful advice until I could finally put on my bionics and get my [actual] life back…)
So yeah, maybe it is experiences like those and the knowledge that in darker times of history, being disabled was enough to be actively killed (not even mentionning the life conditions of the disabled community in some regions of the world even up to today) that might lead me to have a different relationship to the word „triage“ than the one of other people.
Therefore, the fact that some brave people in Germany took the topic to court, the conclusions of the high judges and feedbacks I can read on social media simply show me that NOT EVERYTHING is only happening in my head and/or that I wasn’t just being too negative in 2020… Once again, the knowledge that it is kind of a „community thing“ has been quite good to know.
Don’t be mistaken: I am against any form of exclusion or discrimination. So whatever circumstances you might be facing, I just hope that you will never have to ask yourself the question if some stranger would judge your life (or the one of a loved one of your’s) as valuable enough to try and save it. Likewise, if that question should ever show up, I wish you that you won’t let it eat you up from inside.
As for me, at some point during the last two years, I have come to decide that I will not let that topic keep me from seeing all the beauty of life and being thankful. I am now over thirty-five years above the first estimations about my „life span“ and still counting. There are still so many coffees/martinis/craft beers to be drunk, places to be discovered, adventures to be lived, books to be read, people to be annoyed and so much love and kindness to be spread that giving up is simply not in my blood
N.B.: My demons are currently still asleep at the feet of my „inner buddha“ – due to all that is going on, I count that fact as such a personal victory.
Be kind to everyone and be safe, always.
Love and light sent your way!
A.
A few days ago, I have seen/heard on TV and on social media that in Germany, high judges have come to the conclusion that the pandemic situation linked to COVID 19 does require specific action of law makers to ensure the protection of disabled people in case of a „triage“ situation in hospitals.
That has been BIG news to me! (If you continue reading, you’ll learn that this statement is not even sarcastic …)
During my journey of life so far, I’ve had some experiences which I would consider as commonplace discrimination linked to my „limited edition puzzle“ (aka my disability). Since the outbreak of the pandemic, I had a lot of time to wonder about things like „If a triage situation can’t be avoided, what happens to people with disabilities (just like me) ending up in intensive care – be it for COVID or for another reason – will the medical team „care enough“ to try and help? Or will that community be deprived from life saving measures due to considerations like „ah well, their life span is shorter anyway!“
Some of (the „softer“) examples of such experiences go like:an adult co-student in university telling me that my grades have nothing to do with any of my own efforts but only with me being disabled (coming from someone who had relied on my notes for their exams for like two years by then, this was a real „eyes opener“ that I don’t need that kind of friends – thanks for that!)
random strangers yelling at me that I should not even be allowed to be out in public as I’m „too ugly to look at“. (I respect their freedom of opinion, but I must say that I know not everyone would agree on that and I was just casually eating a sandwich on the bus station during my waiting time…sorry not sorry!)
me going to the emergency department of a public hospital [after friends seeing my „pain face“ didn’t give me much choice…], then being told that I have to wait at a specific spot outside the waiting room in order that „people can pass“, being left on my own for some hours (without care or meds or anything) to then being told „we forgot you as you weren’t inside“ (no joke?!) … but not being in the physical nor mental state to even argue (since that moment, I am forever thankful for doctors and other medical professionals having space in their waiting area so that wheelchair drivers might feel welcome and seen too – just saying ;))
another episode in emergency department in a public hospital where the doctor had found out that something in the painful area was quite not as it should but sent me home without further exams, advices or medication as „I wouldn’t run far anyway“. (It took me over a week, more pain, another visit at the hospital, another doctor who cared enough to look after it and some helpful advice until I could finally put on my bionics and get my [actual] life back…)
So yeah, maybe it is experiences like those and the knowledge that in darker times of history, being disabled was enough to be actively killed (not even mentionning the life conditions of the disabled community in some regions of the world even up to today) that might lead me to have a different relationship to the word „triage“ than the one of other people.
Therefore, the fact that some brave people in Germany took the topic to court, the conclusions of the high judges and feedbacks I can read on social media simply show me that NOT EVERYTHING is only happening in my head and/or that I wasn’t just being too negative in 2020… Once again, the knowledge that it is kind of a „community thing“ has been quite good to know.
Don’t be mistaken: I am against any form of exclusion or discrimination. So whatever circumstances you might be facing, I just hope that you will never have to ask yourself the question if some stranger would judge your life (or the one of a loved one of your’s) as valuable enough to try and save it. Likewise, if that question should ever show up, I wish you that you won’t let it eat you up from inside.
As for me, at some point during the last two years, I have come to decide that I will not let that topic keep me from seeing all the beauty of life and being thankful. I am now over thirty-five years above the first estimations about my „life span“ and still counting. There are still so many coffees/martinis/craft beers to be drunk, places to be discovered, adventures to be lived, books to be read, people to be annoyed and so much love and kindness to be spread that giving up is simply not in my blood
N.B.: My demons are currently still asleep at the feet of my „inner buddha“ – due to all that is going on, I count that fact as such a personal victory.
Be kind to everyone and be safe, always.
Love and light sent your way!
A.
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